Monday, April 23, 2012

Bodybuilding: The vampire conspiracy


Greetings All,

I am suddenly discovering how becoming a bodybuilder is like becoming a vampire.  Let’s compare a few parallels:



1.       Questionable diet

2.       Insatiable hunger

3.       Changes in appearance

4.       Obsessive behavior

5.       Painful transition

6.       Veiny skin

7.       Small community of acceptance



    All these things seem a little too coincidental.  Vampire do seem to consume a very high about of protein (albeit in liquid form) just like a bodybuilder. Most vampires I see in movies or on TV are jacked.  Even Pro-tan makes it so bodybuilders and vampires alike don’t have to go out in the sun.  Vampires and bodybuilders have very odd sleep habits.  And just like becoming a bodybuilder, it’s a very painful transition to become a vampire. 

    I can speak from early experience the way people start to treat you differently feels more like being a member of the undead than a fledgling fitness enthusiast.  Also, Bodybuilders (like vampires) seem to be a close knit group with very little acceptance by the outside world.  Of course there are differences.  Vampires get a stake while bodybuilders get a steak.  And how would it be if bodybuilders could not see their own reflection in a mirror.

    In any case, my daily pattern could be described as being similar to the undead:  Train to the point of death, sleep as if dead, wake with an inhuman hunger, and feed on the living (I am an I.T. guy after all).


Super-Jerry

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